The Wall<\/p>\n\n\n\n
______________________________________________________<\/p>\n\n\n\n The Wall ______________________________________________________ I waited well into the dinner before dropping the news.\u201cI think I am ready for marriage.\u201dI, Shafi Ahmed, a Nuclear Physicist, worked as a research scientist for a reputed company. At 30 I was still single and lived with my parents, as I had all my life.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0It was a regular family dinner, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-543","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/shabbeedurshuja.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/543"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/shabbeedurshuja.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/shabbeedurshuja.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/shabbeedurshuja.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/shabbeedurshuja.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=543"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/shabbeedurshuja.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/543\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":545,"href":"https:\/\/shabbeedurshuja.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/543\/revisions\/545"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/shabbeedurshuja.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=543"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}I waited well into the dinner before dropping the news.
\u201cI think I am ready for marriage.\u201d
I, Shafi Ahmed, a Nuclear Physicist, worked as a research scientist for a reputed company. At 30 I was still single and lived with my parents, as I had all my life.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0
It was a regular family dinner, the only meal in the day when we sat around our oversized dinner table and ate together. Emigrated from Dhaka several decades ago, my parents diligently practiced some traditions over the years that they deemed as part of our Bangladeshi culture. One of them was, obviously, having dinner together. Not my favorite time, but obedience was supposedly another sought-out tradition.
My dad, a reputed businessman, was picking out the tiny bones of a piece of hilsa – a popular fish back home that we bought frozen from local Bangladeshi groceries, his both hands occupied in the task, threw me a glance before concentrating back on the bones.
\u201cFinally! Your mother has been waiting for this moment for so long. She\u2019ll find a beautiful bride for you.\u201d
Now, that was part of tradition as well. In my community, not strictly but preferably, children were expected to allow their parents to arrange their marriages. \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t as bad as it sounded, considering the long-living marriages, mostly happy, that most of our parents had.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0
My mother – kind-hearted, soft-spoken, couldn\u2019t-be-more-na\u00efve – looked at me with exploding eyes. \u201cReally? I thought you didn\u2019t like marriage.\u201d
\u201cI changed my mind.\u201d
The college-going twin sisters \u2013 Poly and Dolly \u2013 exclaimed in unison,\u201d You are the best, bhaiya! Finally doing the right thing! We\u2019ll have a sister-in-law in the house! It\u2019s going to be so much fun!\u201d
Dad defeated the mighty fishbones. His eyes glistened in success.
\u201cYou are not going to change your mind again, are you?\u201d
\u201cNo, no. I am determined this time.\u201d
\u201cGreat! Your mother was losing sleep over this. Now dear, go crazy.\u201d
\u201cDon\u2019t be silly.\u201d Mom shyly said. \u201cI already have my eyes set on somebody.\u201d
\u201cNot Choudhury\u2019s ugly daughter?\u201d Dad asked.
\u201cAre you nuts? Who would want her? I was talking about Selim Sahib\u2019s daughter.\u201d
\u201cRita apu?\u201d Poly-Dolly asked.
\u201cYes! What a wonderful girl! Pretty, nice, smart, educated.\u201d Mom dreamily said.
\u201cI like somebody,\u201d I muttered.
Mom turned anemic. \u201cOh! Who is she? You never told us anything about her.\u201d
\u201cI met her just recently\u201d
\u201cOh! Who is she?\u201d Mom was impatient.
\u201cHer name is Jessica Ganga.\u201d
\u201cRace?\u201d Dad asked, laboring hard not to show his emotions.
\u201cDoes it matter?\u201d I let the words slip through my lips.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0
\u201cMaybe not. I still want to know.\u201d
\u201cCanadian.\u201d
\u201cDon\u2019t get smart on me.\u201d Dad raised his voice considerably.
\u201cCaribbean. \u201c
\u201cBlack?\u201d Mom sweated.
\u201cIs that a problem, mom?\u201d\u00a0 I tried not to sound rude. The last time I raised my voice at her she cried for two days and didn\u2019t talk to me for one whole week.
\u201cI didn\u2019t say that. But you know how people appreciate light skin in our community.\u201d Mom spoke her heart. She looked worried.
\u201cI guess a Caucasian would work for you,\u201d I said, perhaps a little too rudely than I wanted.
\u201cI was thinking Rita. You should see her. She is so light-skinned!\u201d Mom was dreamy again.
\u201cYou should look at your daughters.\u201d I had to point out. \u201cThey are not exactly milky.\u201d
None of us were, except mom.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0
\u201cShame on you, bhaiya! How can you speak like that about us?\u201d
They can be very aggressive when they want. I surrendered.
Dad didn\u2019t like Rita, I knew. He showed some interest in Jessica.
\u201cWhat does her father do? Where do they live?\u201d
\u201cHer father passed away last year. I never asked about his profession. Jessica lives in Ajax.\u201d
\u201cShe works?\u201d
\u201cPart-time.\u201d
\u201cWho handles the finances?\u201d
\u201cShe does. Her mother has Alzheimer’s. She can\u2019t work.\u201d
\u201cAny siblings?\u201d
\u201cA brother who is in the army. He is married with kids.\u201d
\u201cWhat kind of work is she doing?\u201d
I cleared my voice. \u201cWaitress. In a bar.\u201d
Dad furrowed his eyebrows deeply before jumping out of his chair in disbelief. \u201cWhat!\u201d
\u201cAre you out of your mind?\u201d Mom was equally embarrassed.
\u201cGosh! \u201cMy sisters gasped.
\u201cWhy are you guys acting like that? She is not a showgirl or anything.\u201d It was not unexpected but I had to act.
\u201cWhat\u2019s the difference?\u201d Dad displayed four familiar wrinkles on his forehead. \u201cAt least that pays way better.\u201d
Mom was the first one to calm down. \u201cHow does she look?\u201d
\u201cDon\u2019t think Bollywood, Hollywood.\u201d
\u201cComplexion? \u201cMom hesitantly asked, fearing my wrath.
\u201cBrown. Light brown. Kind of like us.\u201d
\u201cWhat is she studying?\u201d That was Dad.
\u201cOffice administration, in a community college.\u201d
\u201cWhy couldn\u2019t she find a better job?\u201d Mom was genuinely concerned.
\u201cWhat\u2019s wrong with her current job? She makes good money.\u201d
Mom remained silent as she played with her food.
Dad sat down and took a deep breath. \u201cForget about her. I\u2019ll speak to Rita\u2019s dad tomorrow. It will be a good match.\u201d
\u201cI plan to marry Jessica.\u201d I braved.
Poly-Dolly usually favored me.\u00a0\u00a0 Not this time. \u201cCome on, bhaiya. She is not that bright!\u201d
I ignored them. They could be nerve-wracking and annoying sometimes.
Dad gave me one of his famous fiery looks. \u201cAny comments on that?\u201d
\u201cHer circumstances were not exactly favorable. She is a smart girl.\u201d I tried to keep it in perspective.
\u201cDon\u2019t you want to consider our position in the society?\u201d
\u201cI don\u2019t see anything to be embarrassed about.\u201d
\u201cYou don\u2019t? We\u2019ll become a common joke among our peers. They would laugh at our back. Just last month my business partner Akmal got his son married to a lady doctor. If nothing else you could at least consider higher education.\u201d
\u201cPerhaps you need to re-evaluate the company you keep. Friends don\u2019t laugh at your back.\u201d
\u201cDon\u2019t you lecture me! You know what I mean. We\u2019ll have little choice but to avoid gatherings. Don\u2019t you realize how humiliating it will be?\u201d There was an urge in my dad\u2019s tone, almost like pleading. This wasn\u2019t something I was used to seeing of him. I sort of enjoyed it.
\u201cWe don\u2019t plan to stay in this house. Nobody would even see us. You\u2019ll be fine.\u201d
Dad gave me a scorching look before stomping into his bedroom. I knew he was going to call Mom\u2019s big brother, Kasem, his mentor and friend.
\u201cKashem? Can you stop by ASAP? Very urgent. Your nephew is planning to ruin us. He is talking about marrying a waitress from a bar! Either you stop him or bring a strong nylon rope for me. I\u2019ll end this life\u2026.\u201d
\u201cThis is not good.\u201d Mom coldly said.
Poly-Dolly rolled their eyes in disgust.
Uncle Kashem had a reputation for being very prompt. He lived at the east end of Scarborough but managed to show up in Richmond Hill, where we lived, a forty-plus kilometer distance, in less than thirty minutes.
He came in with his trademark big smile. \u201cDon\u2019t worry. I\u2019ll set everything right.\u201d
I knew things were going to get downslope from here. He was notorious for that. To make things even worse he brought his wife Shahina and my father\u2019s younger sister Bina and her husband Jafor, who lived near him.\u00a0 Standing before the curious audience Dad went berserk. He threw his arms in the air, turned his volume high, and issued a fiery speech \u2013 he would rather cut his only son into pieces and feed the pieces to the about-to-be-extinct Royal Bengal Tiger than allow this unacceptable marriage.
Uncle Kashem broke into laughter. \u201cBrother, you haven\u2019t changed a bit. Don\u2019t you get a simple joke? Do you think our Shafi would do something so stupid? Don\u2019t you know your son? He is the smartest kid in the family. He knows what is good for him. He was just pulling your leg. Ha\u2026ha\u2026ha\u2026\u201d
Uncle Jafor, a full professor at a reputed university, was not a total loss. \u201cWhat\u2019s so wrong with this girl?\u201d He thoughtfully said. \u201cShe is studying, working. Sounds good.\u201d
Dad snapped. \u201cYou have a son old enough for marriage. Why don\u2019t you take her?\u201d
\u201cWell, I see no harm in it. If my son agrees we can pursue.\u201d\u00a0
I had to step in. Didn\u2019t like the way it was heading. \u201cThere\u2019s no need for that Uncle Jafor. I am getting married to her.\u201d
Aunt Bina was a true copy of Dad, only belonged to the opposite gender. She and Dad shared the same temperament as well. \u201cDon\u2019t be foolhardy.\u201d She barked.
\u201cI love her. I told her I wanted to marry her. I can\u2019t back off now.\u201d I tried to explain my situation to avoid the onslaught.
Uncle Kashem broke into another laughter. \u201cSo, what? I did the same with several girls before getting married to your aunt. What\u2019s the big deal?\u201d
His wife, Shahina, chuckled. \u201cDon\u2019t you lie? You were shy like a teenage girl.\u201d
They knew each other and had a mild affair of the hearts. We have heard that story too many times.
Poly-Dolly loved anything that smelled like love. They giggled. \u201cCome on Aunt Shahina, tell us more.\u201d\u00a0
\u201cBe quiet,\u201d Dad yelled at the twins. \u201cWe didn\u2019t gather here to listen to some prehistoric love affair. Let\u2019s talk about my son.\u201d
Uncle Kashem relaxed in his chair. \u201cGive me a few days. I\u2019ll find you the prettiest angel. We\u2019ll get this kid married by next Friday.\u201d
Mom interrupted. \u201cThere\u2019s no need to look. I already have one. Selim Sahib\u2019s daughter – Rita. We like her very much.\u201d
Aunt Shahina frowned. \u201cReally? How much do you know about her? I heard she had several boyfriends over the years.\u201d
\u201cWhat?\u201d Mom must have missed a series of heartbeats. \u201cWho told you that?\u201d
\u201cDoes it matter? I saw her with a boy once. They were \u2013 you know \u2013 intimate, in a mall. Kissing-issing!\u201d
\u201cOh god!\u201d Mom shrieked. \u201cAnd I was visualizing her as the deity of my household. What is happening to our kids? We never dared to do anything like this when we were young.\u201d
\u201cForget about Rita.\u201d Uncle Kashem declared. \u201cAllow me to find you a daughter-in-law. She will be everything that you dreamed of. Top class.\u201d
Mom sighed deeply. \u201cDo what you think best, bhaiya.\u201d
I noticed Aunt Shahina smiling at me. She was the type who said less and did more. When in trouble she could be a big help. I recollected some of my courage. \u201cYou guys should at least check Jessica out.\u201d
\u201cForget Jessica. She has no social status. Your family has a respectable position in the community. Don\u2019t forget that. There\u2019s nothing to see here.\u201d Dad was quick to dismiss.
\u201cDon\u2019t be so narrow-minded dad.\u201d I objected.
Aunt Bina was quick to lose her temper as well. \u201cI am yet to meet another rascal like you.\u201d She snarled. \u201cShe is nobody. Why are you so determined to marry her? Are you out of your mind?\u201d
\u201cWho cares what he wants?\u201d Dad declared boldly. \u201cKashem, we\u2019ll have to get him married tomorrow.\u201d
\u201cTomorrow? What about the bride? Where am I going to find a bride at this hour? Do you expect me to go door to door and look for a suitable bride? Ha\u2026ha\u2026ha\u2026\u201d
\u201cStop! Don\u2019t laugh like a bed bug.\u201d Dad snapped.
\u201cBrother, you are turning into a genius. You even figured out how the bed bugs laugh! Do they really laugh?\u201d
Aunt Bina had a different idea going on in her fertile mind. \u201cMy daughter Daisy likes him a lot.\u201d She said. \u201cShe is pretty and smart. Why don\u2019t we get the two of them tie the knots?\u201d\u00a0\u00a0
I grimaced. We grew up together like siblings. What was wrong with this lady?
Uncle Kasem readily objected. \u201cWhat do you take us for? Your daughter is no better than Rita. Since high school, she must have changed three boyfriends. There\u2019s barely anybody who doesn\u2019t know about her romantic extravaganzas.\u201d
\u201cCome on Kasem bhaiya, boyfriends are not husbands. Who cares if she had three or thirty?\u201d Aunt Bina reasoned.
\u201cWhy not Rita then?\u201d
Nobody replied. Mom said, \u201cWhat other choices do we have?\u201d
Uncle Kasem cleared his voice. \u201cWell, why aren\u2019t you considering my daughter Shila? To find a girl like her. A living goddess.\u201d
There was a momentary silence in the room.
\u201cBut when I proposed to you last time you got mad at me.\u201d Mom was truly surprised.
\u201cForget about what I did last time. When almighty wants something who are we to object? Let\u2019s get it settled right now.\u201d
Gosh! Were these people nuts? Shila discussed her love interests with me. That\u2019s the type of closeness we had.
Aunt Bina strongly objected. \u201cHow is Daisy any less than her? Shila isn\u2019t half as pretty as my Daisy.\u201d
Uncle Kasem went all ballistic. \u201cWhat are you talking about? Do you know how many guys goof around just to see Shila smile?\u201d
\u201cSmile, my foot.\u201d Aunt Bina chewed out the words. \u201cSuch shovel teeth!\u201d
Mom liked Shila. She objected. \u201cDon\u2019t be silly Bina. She has perfectly good teeth.\u201d
Uncle Jafor agreed. \u201cTrue. Such a nice girl. Whenever I go she makes me her especial barbeque chicken.\u201d
\u201cShut up!\u201d Aunt Bina barked at him. \u201cWe are talking about two lives and he is reminiscing barbeque chicken! Listen bhaiya, Shafi and Daisy would make a great couple. There\u2019s no need to get out of our own family.\u201d
This got Mom going. She furiously said, \u201cWhy, what\u2019s wrong with our family? Do you know my grandfather\u2019s grandfather was a king?\u201d
Poly-Dolly readily supported. \u201cYes, Aunt Bina, his name was King Shofed Ali Shorter. We even saw his picture. So cute! Oh my god!\u201d
\u201cWe also have dozens of such good-for-nothing kings in our family tree.\u201d Aunt Bina slapped in the air, disdainfully. \u201cWe are not here to discuss that. Shafi is getting married to Daisy. That\u2019s final.\u201d
Mom was trembling in anger. She shouted, \u201cNever. Shafi will get married to Shila.\u201d
\u201cLet bhaiya decide.\u201d
\u201cOh well!\u201d Dad scrambled for appropriate words. \u201cWhat do you want me to say?\u201d
Aunt Shahina softly said, \u201cLet\u2019s all calm down for a minute. Marriage is not a game.\u201d
\u201cOf course not.\u201d Dad scratched his head. He feared his little sister. \u201cWhat do you say Kashem? Who is better? Shila or Daisy?\u201d
\u201cDaisy doesn\u2019t even come close.\u201d
\u201cHow dare you?\u201d Aunt Bina lashed out. \u201cWhole Shila doesn\u2019t stand a chance against a single toe of Daisy.\u201d
\u201cWatch it, Bina!\u201d Uncle Kashem wasn\u2019t stepping back.
\u201cDon\u2019t you threaten me? Do you think we don\u2019t know what you are up to? Your eyes are on my brother\u2019s property, especially now that his real estate business has picked up. Can you deny that?\u201d
Uncle Kasem jumped up from his seat. \u201cHow dare you say that? Do I have any less?\u201d
Uncle Jafor begged, \u201cPlease stop. This is going too far.\u201d
Aunt Bina threw her arms in the air. \u201cDon\u2019t you worry? I know how to deal with thugs like him. \u201c
Dad nervously said, \u201cThere\u2019s no need to fight over this.\u201d
None of the two warring parties paid any attention to him.
\u00a0
I had no clue where this was heading. I stood there helplessly. It was remarkable to notice how a simple situation could turn into a feud. Aunt Shaina was looking at me. As I met her eyes she signaled me out of the room. I quietly slipped out to the porch. Moments later she joined me there. She was all smiles.
\u201cSon, when did you get married?\u201d
\u201cThree days ago.\u201d
\u201cWhere is Jessica?\u201d
\u201cIn her house.\u201d
\u201cI don\u2019t think you can bring her here. Not now.\u201d She thoughtfully said.
\u201cI just wanted their blessings.\u201d
\u201cWell, that\u2019s not going to happen too soon. You realize that.\u201d
\u201cWhat should I do?\u201d
\u201cWhat else? Just go on with your life. You have a good job. You two will do great by yourself.\u201d
\u201cShe is such a terrific girl! She would win you in seconds.\u201d
\u201cI know that. If she was any less you wouldn\u2019t go for her. Now, get out of here. Once they stop fighting they are going to look for you. Spend a few days away. When things calm down come back to get your stuff. I\u2019ll manage these old kids. It will be okay.\u201d
\u201cWhat about mom and dad?\u201d
\u201cWorry about them later. Parents love to have opportunities to forgive their children. You just have to come and beg for it. Now go on. I\u2019ll handle them for now.\u201d
I touched her toes three times, an age-old Indian tradition to show respect. \u201cPray for us Aunt.\u201d
\u201cYou can count on that. Go now. Quick.\u201d
I left home empty-handed. The mansion, the wealth, the expensive lifestyle that I got so used to, all stayed behind. But yet I felt so good. I thought of Jessica, and drew a picture of a happy home, a healthy cute baby in our lives \u2013 my heart flooded with immense pleasure. As I walked to the curb where my car was parked I turned back to get a glimpse of Aunt Shahina, who still stood on the porch, smiling. Behind her now stood my mom, grim-faced, concerned, loose end of her sari waved like a flag in a sudden gust of wind, as if to say, \u201cGo on son. Break the walls.\u201d
\u00a0 <\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"