All These Sorrows<\/p>\n\n\n\n
______________________________________________________<\/p>\n\n\n\n All These Sorrows ______________________________________________________ It started slowly but by noon over a thousand people had gathered in the Nathan Phillips Square in downtown Toronto. A late October day, exceptionally warm and sunny, with deciduous trees around the area displaying beautiful fall color \u2013 it could have easily been a pleasant day out if not the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-572","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/shabbeedurshuja.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/572"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/shabbeedurshuja.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/shabbeedurshuja.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/shabbeedurshuja.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/shabbeedurshuja.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=572"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/shabbeedurshuja.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/572\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":574,"href":"https:\/\/shabbeedurshuja.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/572\/revisions\/574"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/shabbeedurshuja.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=572"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}It started slowly but by noon over a thousand people had gathered in the Nathan Phillips Square in downtown Toronto. A late October day, exceptionally warm and sunny, with deciduous trees around the area displaying beautiful fall color \u2013 it could have easily been a pleasant day out if not the reason they convened was so extraordinarily tragic and heart-wrenching. Rehana was wrapped in a shawl over her salwar-kameez and a pair of flat leather sandals as she sauntered up the crowded street toward the Square looking keenly around her, searching for her friends. Fearing parking could be a nightmare she had taken the subway to get here. It was a bit of a walk to the Square from the nearest station but considering the nice weather she actually enjoyed it. Now only if she could find her friends, she would be all set.
Once in the Square she called Rubina and got her voicemail. She left her rough location and called Fatima next. After about ten minutes and several calls back and forth, she finally joined her friends \u2013 Rubina, Fatima, and Parvati. They hugged each other and shared their excitement about being part of this event. Of four Parvati, in her early thirties, was the youngest. Rubina and Rehana were in their mid-fifties, and Fatima was a few years older, closing on 60. Their acquaintances happened in a Walmart where they all worked and over the years morphed into strong friendships.
Fatima looked impatient. She was a graying short woman with high spirits. It was she who had insisted on them coming. This protest is not about any one group of people. This is a \u00a0cry to uphold humanity, an appeal for peace. <\/em>She led them close to the center of the square where one lady was delivering a fiery speech. \u00a0
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u2018\u2026we must do everything in our power to stop this Israeli genocide of innocent Palestinians in Gaza. In the name of fighting Hamas, they are trying to annihilate the Palestinian people. More kids have been killed there in just a few weeks than in all global conflicts annually since 2019. Can you believe that? We do not condone terrorism – by Hamas or by IDF. We demand an immediate ceasefire. Stop the war! Stop the killings! \u2026\u2019<\/em>
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 The crowd chanted \u2018Stop the war\u2019<\/em>, \u2018Stop the killings<\/em>\u2019\u2013 repeatedly, becoming louder and louder as scores of attendants waved Palestinian flags. The urgency and intensity of the roaring chants gave Rehana goosebumps. She hated wars. Many years ago a bloody war in her birthland Bangladesh had taken the life of her two teenage brothers. She was just three and had no memories of them. A couple of old grainy images were all she had.
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 The protest soon departed the Square and marched along University Ave toward the Ontario Legislative Building, where the organizers planned to hand over a set of written demands to the provincial government.
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 As they walked briskly, the four friends huddled together, surprised to see how people from all walks of life had joined – young mothers with kids on strollers, old men in their Scooters, office folks in suits, and an abundance of angry young people.
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cDon\u2019t walk too fast,\u201d Fatima warned them. \u201cSave your energy. Especially you Rubina \u2013 diabetic and high blood pressure. Don\u2019t want you to get sick. \u201d
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Rubina was already looking tired. She got a water bottle out of her oversized purse and took a big sip. \u201cI didn\u2019t realize we\u2019d be walking so far.\u201d
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s not that far,\u201d Fatima reassured. \u201cJust look ahead. You can see the parliament building. On our way back we\u2019ll probably take College Street to Bay and return to the Square. At most a few kilometers. Did you bring some snacks with you? Just in case your blood sugar level falls.\u201d
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cNot much, just some crackers,\u201d Rubina hesitantly said. \u201cYou said we\u2019ll stay in the Nathan Phillip Square.\u201d
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Fatima shrugged. \u201cThat\u2019s what I thought. The plan changed. I found out after getting here. Don\u2019t sweat about it. You\u2019ll be fine. There are tons of food places here.\u201d
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 A new chant started to catch on. \u201cHey! Hey! Ho! Ho! The occupation has got to go<\/em>!\u201d<\/strong> \u00a0Fatima chorused with all the strength in her voice with Parvati and Rubina joining her. Rehana lip-synched. She suffered from autoimmune diseases and didn\u2019t want to risk exhausting herself. She nudged Rubina and whispered, \u201cTake it easy. Don\u2019t kill yourself.\u201d
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Rubina nodded uncomfortably. Coming all the way here and not doing her part seemed worse.
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Rehana\u2019s phone was ringing. She fumbled inside her purse to find the cell phone. It was Monti – her husband. She had been waiting for his call. He was supposed to take Happy, their cat, to the vet for a check-up. She was pretty old at 10 and had been showing signs of discomfort lately. While Rehana\u2019s whole family had a strong bondage with the feline, she was particularly attached to Happy. She had insisted on having the cat checked. If she hadn\u2019t had this protest planned she would have surely accompanied Happy to the vet.
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Monti had bad news. \u201cThe vet took x-rays and took blood for tests,\u201d he said over the phone. \u201cHis diagnosis is not good. He is saying she has fluid in the lungs, possibly a tumor somewhere else. Need more tests to be sure. What should I do?\u201d
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Rehana was annoyed. \u201cWhat do you mean what should you do? Just ask him for a treatment plan. There gotta be something he can do, right? That\u2019s why he is a vet.\u201d
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 There was a relatively long silence from the other end.
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cAre you still there?\u201d Rehana barked. Monti had a bad habit of keeping things out of her knowledge. He probably wasn\u2019t saying everything.
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Monti cleared his voice. \u201cUmmm, the vet is suggesting we should put her down,\u201d he finally said.
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Rehana froze. \u201cWhat?\u201d It took her a long moment to find words. \u201cIs he mad? Just ask him for some medicine and take her home.\u201d
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cHe is insisting that Happy is too sick to continue to live. Saying if I don\u2019t agree to put her down then he\u2019ll have to report me to some kind of a pet society and they\u2019ll get in touch with us to determine what is best for Happy. I have no idea what he is referring to.\u201d
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Rehana felt her body shaking. Happy has been like a child to her since she first arrived just a few days old. She had a small section on her bed where the cat slept. When she felt stressed or lonely she would take Happy in her lap and cuddle with her. Happy would take it patiently even though she might not be in the mood. Rehana had forgotten long ago that in that feline body, it was not a person. The kids treated her like another sibling. She was the center of all of their attention for years. Lately, as she aged she had become quieter and slower but her meek presence still filled their home with joy.
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Fatima noticed Rehana had stopped and looked upset. \u201cRehana! Everything okay?\u201d She called out.
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Rehana nodded. Her friends had moved ahead. She didn\u2019t want to fall too far behind. She hurried to catch up pressing the cell phone on her ears to reduce surrounding noise.
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWhat do you want me to do?\u201d Monti asked on the phone.
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWhy are you even asking that?\u201d Rehana barked. \u201cTake her home. When I come back I\u2019ll figure out what to do. She is not so sick that we have to let her go.\u201d
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWhen are you coming home?\u201d
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t know. We are going to the parliament building. Maybe from there I can take an Uber and get home. Just take her home. I don\u2019t care what the vet says.\u201d
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 After ending the call she caught up to her friends and described the dire situation. They had all been to her house many times and knew Happy very well. \u00a0They looked genuinely concerned.
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cMaybe you should go home,\u201d Parvati said. \u201cYou look very disturbed.\u201d
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI want to go at least up to the parliament building,\u201d Rehana said hesitantly. \u201cOtherwise I\u2018ll feel guilty. I am sure she\u2019ll be okay. I am so sorry, girls. Innocent Palestinians are dying out there. They have no home, no food, no safety, no medicine. Even the hospitals are not safe.\u00a0 What a hell they must be living in. And here I am lamenting about my pet!\u201d
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Fatima shook her head gravely. \u201cA dear one \u2013 be it a person or a pet, is no different. You are okay to be worried. Look around you. Many of these people have relatives in Gaza. I can tell. They may never see them again. Those bastard Israelies are bombing everywhere.\u201d
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cHamas killed a lot of Israelies too,\u201d Rubina quietly reminded. \u201cSo many innocent people died.\u201d
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cHamas exists because of them,\u201d Fatima rebuked. \u201cThey have imprisoned Palestinians in their own land. Allowing illegal settlers to build homes on occupied lands. The two-state solution is all but dead. Do you think people can continue to live in a situation that is dehumanizing, and disgraceful? When you take away people\u2019s dignity and kill their families – what else do you expect them to do? Send you love letters?\u201d
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 As Fatima spoke her voice raised. Others around her paid attention and nodded in approval. Fatima suddenly raised a hand and chanted \u201cFree, free Palestine!<\/em>\u201d Several dozens of people spontaneously joined her. Soon the whole area reverberated with that slogan. Rehana, Rubina, and Parvati glanced at each other. Fatima had suddenly become a voice in the procession. She looked bolder, angrier as she marched ahead. They struggled to cope.
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 The procession met some resistance from heavy police presence to keep order but was allowed to move ahead. By the time it reached the architecturally beautiful legislative building, it was almost 2 PM. As the crowd chanted Rehana tried to find a little quiet corner because her phone was ringing again. Monti.
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWhat\u2019s happening now?\u201d She inquired anxiously.
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI brought her home,\u201d Monti said hesitantly. \u201cBut she is looking really sick now. The vet probably did something. Might have given her some medication. She is even bleeding a little. I think I gotta take her back to the vet. Maybe\u2026 maybe he was right. We probably should consider his suggestion.\u201d
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Rehana was quiet for a long moment, allowing the extreme idea to set in. \u201cDon\u2019t do anything. I am coming home. Just stay with her. Okay?\u201d
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Rehana hung up and looked for a ride in the Uber app. Usually, there would have been plenty but due to protests, some roads were closed, others clogged, forcing the Uber drivers to stay at a distance. The nearest pickup location was a couple of blocks away. That wasn\u2019t too bad. \u00a0She looked for her companions. The area had filled up with incoming protesters faster than she had expected. She couldn\u2019t see any of her friends. She hesitated for a moment and texted Fatima – Got to go home. Need to see Happy \u2013 maybe for the last time<\/em> and hurried back to University Ave, toward the nearest intersection where a driver agreed to pick her up. \u00a0\u00a0<\/em>
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 The Uber driver, Joseph, a gentle-looking man in his fifties, seemed like a nice man. As he drove slowly through heavy traffic after picking up Rehana, his eyes veered off from the road ahead to his female passenger in the back seat who appeared to be in distress. \u201cMa\u2019am, are you okay?\u201d
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Rehana was trying hard not to have a breakdown but she wasn\u2019t succeeding. Once she got into the car and headed home all she could think of was poor Happy who probably looking at her imminent demise, possibly just hours away. For ten years she had been with Rehana and her family. It never occurred to her that this day would come someday. \u00a0
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cMy cat is dying,\u201d Rehana managed to say as she sobbed quietly. \u201cI am sorry. Didn\u2019t mean to bother you but she is very dear to me.\u201d
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI am not bothered in the least,\u201d Joseph said quietly. \u201cPets are like kids. You are okay to mourn. Did you come here to protest?\u201d
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI did but now I am feeling guilty. So many deaths, so much suffering and here I am crying for my cat.\u201d Rehana muttered.
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Joseph sighed. \u201cDon\u2019t feel guilty. There\u2019s nothing bigger than love and sorrow. Looking at me you wouldn\u2019t even know what I am going through. I wish I could let it out like you. I wish I could cry.\u201d
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWhy? What happened?\u201d Rehana asked, surprised.
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYou won\u2019t believe it if I tell you,\u201d the man said as his voice appeared to break. \u201cI am an Israeli jew married to a Palestinian woman. We have five kids. My older daughter just turned eighteen. She wanted to visit Israel, Gaza, and the West Bank. We have relatives in all those places.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t want her to go. I just didn\u2019t think it was safe. She wouldn\u2019t listen to me. So, I didn\u2019t want to pay for the trip. She got mad at me. She had some money from her part-time job, borrowed some from her friends, and went anyway.\u201d
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWhere was she during the Hamas attack?\u201d Rehana shivered even thinking of the worst possibilities.
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t know. She didn\u2019t contact us. We called most of our relatives. Nobody knows where she is. A few in Gaza we couldn\u2019t connect to. She could be very well in there, either already gone or running around to stay alive.\u201d He pauses for a moment. \u201cJust the fact that we don\u2019t know where she is, how she is \u2013 is killing us. I\u2019d have gone there to look for her but I have a family, four other kids. I gotta put it all inside me and keep going. Thousands are dying there, my daughter would be just one more.\u201d
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Rehana\u2019s heart sank. \u201cI am sure she is fine. Communications are disrupted there. Maybe she can\u2019t call home. Don\u2019t give up. Be strong. Okay?\u201d
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cDo you know what hurts the most?\u201d Joseph said, his voice wet. \u201cShe didn\u2019t even tell us when she left. No byes, no hugs. I just want to hold her in my arms once. I just want to tell her how much I love her.\u201d
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Something happened to Rehana. She leaned over and put a hand gently on his shoulder. \u201cYou will. I am praying for her.\u201d
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 The man suddenly started to sob. \u201cI hope so. I sure hope so.\u201d
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0
An hour later, embracing frail and drowsy Happy Rehana whispered in her ears \u2013 Sleep in peace, sweetheart!<\/em> \u2013 and put her inside the carrier, and nodded to Monti who took her away to the vet for her final journey.
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Rehana performed ablution, sat on the prayer mat, and prayed for Happy, Joseph\u2019s daughter, Palestinians, Israelis, and every person on earth.
Dear Creator, give us the strength to bear all these sorrows.<\/em><\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"